KRSNA I MISS U. WHERE ARE U

KRSNA I MISS U. WHERE ARE U

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This web site is completely dedicated to the love of my life - Aaradhana (Not her real name). I'm from Hyderabad - the capital city of Andhra Pradesh in South India. I met Aaradhana in a call center I was working for in Bangalore.It was'nt love at first sight. From our 1st interaction, I actually felt she was very immature and childish. But then thats how deceptive appearences are. I wont mention my name or hers as she is married now and living in the US or Canada. I would never want to hurt her or her family.I want her to have every happiness in this life.

This web site is just the expression of my deep love & affection for her. Its something I'm doing at a time when I'm really really missing her a lot. I'l probably keep developing this site, put in more about Aradahana & myself, whenever I miss her badly. What purpose will this site serve, who would want to go through this site - probably no one. But then I'd like to think of this site as a Temple. A Temple for the pure, sacred, innocent love I have for Aaradhana. She left me in the lurch and discarded me as waste. But I strongly feel Lord Krishna(An Indian God) acted through her, to give me company, love and affection during the days I spent in Bangalore.

When I first met her, I was recovering from a painful setback in my life.I was still cheerful and happy. But my enthusiasm and zest for life had sapped.I had lost the energy levels I had a few years back and was largely confused about my basic beliefs in life.She came along initially as a good friend, loving, caring and affectionate. Sharing my moments of grief and happiness. Gradually we seemed to be drawn to each other and we would sit beside each other at our work place and talk about everything under the sun .We seemed to have a lot in common - right from our basic attitudes, beliefs and goals in life. I began to feel she really was my SOUL MATE. I eventually popped the question. She accepted after taking a days time to think about it.

But I was still a LOSER (A term I would'nt personally use for anybody) then.I was still somebody who was recovering from a personal setback and still faltering in my steps. I've always had huge ambitions, but at that time I was still unsure about what exactly I would take up as a career. I had to compromise on my career options because of my financial position at that time.

During the 3-4 months we spent close to each other I saw a strange glow on her face. When I think about it now, I really feel it was a divine glow.

I dont know what the lord wills for me in this life, but I really feel Lord Krishna

himself was in her in those days.He was acting through her to help me get out of the depressive phase I was in that time.

. This was when I began calling her Krsna, as I felt there was a striking similarity between our relationship and a story I read in Amar Chitra Katha, about Lord Krishna coming to help a friend of his called Gopi.So what went wrong, well apparently as I said, the person I was interacting with was not being herself. She seemed to be under some divine influence. She was too good to be true. Eventually I did get to see a part of her which was very practical, calculative and materialistic. In this age and time it isnt wrong for a guy or girl to be practical and materialistic to an extent. But then Aaradhana seemed to be special. She didnt appear to be a person who took these factors into consideration. So what pulled her away from me, by her own admission was my vacillating decisions about what Ill finally take up as a career. But then was this really such a big issue. What happened to all the views & opinions we shared on unconditional love, true life long commitment and standing by a friend in need.

Mount Kailash & The Mansarovar Lake

She eventually drew herself away from me and discarded me as waste. Was I angry , no because while I was in her company I began to redevelop the beliefs and attitudes I had before a personal tragedy wrecked me. I had begun to accept whatever happens to me, as lord Krsna's will for me. So I wasnt angry, but I was shocked at how a person who was so tender, delicate and caring could become so ruthless and un concerned, all of a sudden. I then gradually felt that, yes the person I knew as Aaradhana also had a practical. materialistic side to her and that the gentle, unselfish, loving person I knew as Krsna was probably under some kind of a spell or a divine influence for a few months.

So Aaradhana quit her job in my company, and then on some pretext or the other, started meeting me less often and on one fine day chose to get offended for some petty, trivial thing I said and decided not to keep in touch with me. Thats it and then I came to know that she got married in Feb2004 to somebody in Canada. So am I sad now, no not really, I've actually moved on , shifted to Hyderabad ,have a very good job and am also in the process of adding on some more qualifications. Im generally very happy and cheerful, but every now & then I think about Krsna and about how happy we could have been together. About how much we had in common and about the lovely relationship we could have had. I really feel if I have somebody like that beside me, there is nothing I couldnt achieve- of course god willing and with his help. So yes Im sad for a few minutes and then again I pull myself out of it and accept it as gods will for us.

I hope she is happy now. I will pray to god to keep her and her family happy. But unselfish and sacrificing that I might seem here, I also pray to god to give me somebody like Aaradhana in this life or Krsna herself as I knew her if there really is another birth on this planet again.